Pretty Good…~~ 15 May, 2008

Life’s been pretty good lately. Despite the fact that i’m still getting used to the new job and desipite the fact that the workload’s piling up and my boss is one demanding man… life is still pretty good.

While i was feeling in the dumps a few weeks back, i’ve finally decided to see things from a different angle and it did lifted me up. Not forgetting that I’ve gotten 2 early birthday presents right on Labour’s Day itself. A brand new car & something special. *Ok, ok… having a car means more expenses but it does mean that i can afford one now, which is pretty good news, eh?*

We also celebrated my mum’s birthday so got to have a lovely dinner and a cake to go with it. *Yum!* *Yum!* It’s been ages since i had any cakes. Hehe…

Yes, I’m beginning to appreciate the small happy things that are happening in my life. A good rest on weekends, warm dinner prepared by my mum, laughters by the little girl at home… these are the things that matters afterall. =D

P/S: B, if ur reading this. I owe you a post on ur hotel. It’s long overdue, i know… i’ll write a post bout it soon. *hugs!*

~SpIffY~

oF Drivings & DirecTions~~ 15 May, 2008

I had to drive to PJ the other day due to work and i panicked a little. I didn’t know the way! Okay, i most probably know the way but because i couldn’t connect the route from my office to PJ… hence i wasn’t really sure if i knew how to get there.

While i was in the car, i gave a ring to my ever available good buddy, K.

“Hey.. how do i get to PJ ah?”

“What you mean get to PJ?”

“Yala… from my office..how to go to PJ?”

“Go tru the LDP then it’s straight all the way..”

“Wait, wait! Don’t go so far 1st… how do i actually get myself to LDP from my office?”

“Haha… *he started to give me directions..go straight, make u-turn, go under the tunnel, etc..*”

“Err… okayy….. i try la. If i get lost then i call you again.”

Bout 5 minutes later…

“Eh, you got lost izzit? *Snickering*”

“No la.. still on the way. I think i know where am i ady..Thanks! Thanks!”

In fact, i did know the way.. i’ve been using that road for God knows how many times. This proves a fact that our sense of alertness and direction is so much more when we’re driving compared to when we’re the passenger. Eventhough we’re sitting in front.

So the next time i call anyone to ask for directions again… please be a dear and help me out. =P

~SpIffY~

*SmaCks*!! 30 April, 2008

I can’t believe what i did today. I’m already kicking myself up in the ass. I rejected an interview with a MNC company. A darn big and famous MNC company. How stupid can i get? Argghhh!!!!

I’m so gonna call them up on Friday and see if they can slot me in for an interview. Arggghhh!! It’s all because i was rushing for a meeting just now, which lasted me like 3 hours. Argghh!!!!

Stupid, stupid, stupid..!!

ARGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

~SpIffY~

Blogs and….You. 29 April, 2008

You could never understand why i blog and why i write the things i do in my blog. I guess you never like me blogging, telling the whole world what i am up to, what my feelings are, et cetera.. but it’s me, it’s who i am. i’ve been blogging for years.. and before blogs was created, i was writing in my diary. Yes, i know there’s a big difference there… but to me, i blog the things that i don’t think are too personal, that i don’t mind other people knowing.

My blog is where i vent, where i let go, where i pour my heart out when no one’s willing to listen. It’s my only means of comfort at times. Others can criticise, can swear and call me names.. i’ll still continue to blog. In a way, it helps me to improve my writing and also keeps my mind busy and going.

I hope one day you will understand why i blog and not scold me for blogging.

Much love,

~SpIffY~

Wishes…mine. 29 April, 2008

I wished you would listen, i wished you would understand… but i guess it’s just that. Wishes. Something that won’t come true.

I wished i could go back time and fix things, i wished i could walk a different road… but again it’s just that. Wishes.

I wished we would walk a longer road together..oh, how i’d wished that i have loved you more…

I wished i’d treated you better, i wished i’d understand you better..

I wished i’d been more tolerant, more patient…

But i can’t turn back time..

I can wish and wish but you’re not around anymore.

~SpIffY~

Tears & Wishes…~~ 28 April, 2008

I cried talking to my mum today. Not because i miss her terribly… just that i wished i could tell her everything. But i can’t. I don’t think she knew i was crying..i was trying hard not to let her hear my sobs. Being away from home, hearing a voice you’ve known your entire life really does help.

Sometimes i just wished i can tell her how *sucky* my love life is right now, how many days i’ve cried myself to sleep, how i can’t eat, can’t do anything. I can tell her that, i know. But i chose not to. Whatever i’m going through now, is entirely my own decision. No one else. I’ll have to deal with it myself.

But how i wished……

~SpIffY~

Happy Birthday, Elmo! 23 April, 2008

It’s your birthday today. I’m sorry i’m not able to celebrate it with you. Stayed up late yesterday to wish you “Happy Birthday” only to be cut off by a very bad line. So i texted you instead. I wish i could be by your side to wish you, at least to give you a hug if not a present… but the only thing possible is to see you in my dreams.

You left today. Was there even a “goodbye”? I can’t remember…

I do know you’ll come back soon. Real soon. I’ll have your present waiting. Maybe a slice of durian cake we could share? ^_^

Happy Birthday, Elmo! *Hugs*

~SpIffY~

Of Love & BreakUps… 12 April, 2008

Falling in love is the most wonderful thing a person can have but breakups are the total opposite, unless it is a mutual breakup…but then again, how many people out there have breakups that are mutual? It is always one party that decides to call it off.. due to whatever reasons given. “My feelings have changed”, “I feel trapped”, “I’ve found someone else”, “I can’t stand your controlling attitude”, and the list goes on…

I’ve had my fair share of breakups. Who doesn’t? Okaayy… so I have friends who are very lucky enough to have not gone through it. =P but they are the minority… so I’m gonna leave them out.

I remember my first ever breakup..or ermm…should I put it, the first time I got dumped. I had cried and cried for ages… I had been sad for the longest time ever. I stopped going to the movies because it only reminds me of us going to the movies together. Everywhere I go, it reminds me of him. It took me three years to forget him. Three long years… I can’t really remember how I got through it…but I think most of it had to go to my friends, which I’m forever grateful for. I’ve chosen not to keep in touch with him due to personal reasons… but I do acknowledge him if he ever text me or message me in msn. I’m not so mean.. =P

My second breakup wasn’t so bad.. but it hurts nonetheless. I guess I shouldn’t have started going out with the guy in the first place, knowing what kind of guy he is when it comes to falling in and out of love.. but again, who was I to argue with the feelings in my heart? Oh, I’m someone who follows my heart instead of my brain when it comes to matters of love.. in case anyone doesn’t know yet. =) I’m just sorry over what happened after we broke up. We totally lost contact with each other. Even when we do see each other, it’s as though we’re strangers. Well, maybe it’s better for the two of us this way. No strings attached at all.

Everyone wishes to fall in love, with the right girl, right guy… but we can’t deny that breakups do happen. It’s the worst feeling ever. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, everything seems so wrong. You don’t want to talk, you don’t want to smile. You wish you could just crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of your life.

But honestly, does all the hurting ever stop anyone from falling in love again and again? It definitely does not for me because as I said earlier, falling in love is the most wonderful feeling ever. =D

Being in a relationship and making one last is well, another story for another time in another post. ;o)

~SpIffY~

Love… 8 April, 2008

What is love? It’s so hard to define love. Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world.. and yet the most hurting. Why do we hurt but still linger on? What happen to the courage of letting go and walking away? So many questions and yet…. where are the answers?

~SpIffY~

Life…as it is. 19 February, 2008

I’m currently sitting in Starbucks, sipping Java Chip Frappucino, listening to my favourite MP3 songs, surfing, texting and cracking my brain on how actually does Facebook work. A stress-free, good life on a working Tuesday, you would say.. but who will ever know that in my mind, i’m worried about not being able to get a job, sorry..let me correct that, not being able to get a job i prefer, not being able to finish my freaking final uni project, afraid that i can’t take some issues any longer and finally call it quits?

Well, i guess anyone who’s reading this post will know now, won’t they? Haha… but seriously, this is life. It’s never always all ups… when i was having my down time, no one knew.. except for the few that i confided in. Who would know that under the ever-smiling, carefree and crazy me, there actually is a scared lil girl who’s afraid of making changes and taking up challenges in life? This is the part where i don’t tell anyone about…not even loved ones. Guess you can say i’m afraid of being laughed at. Ha ha.

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On a different note, Chinese New Year is almost over…i’ve gotten quite a good amount of ang pow this year. As i’ve said to every uncles and aunties that told me “this is the last year i’m giving it to you, you better get married next year..!”, i’m gonna collect ang pows for a few more years! LoLzz…!~~ This year have been reasonably quiet…but it feels good. Didn’t managed to meet up with everyone, but what the heck… i’ll see you guys sooner or later. Oh, also i did not lou sang this year… hmmpphh! Anyone know where i can still buy discounted yee sang at supermarkets? I went looking at the Seremban Jusco, but apparently, they’ve cleared every damn thing.. even the cartons of drinks. >:(

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Valentine’s Day. A good day. For shops to make big bucks, especially the florists. Did i receive any, you ask? Nope. Not even the leaf from a rose stalk. Sad, you say? Like i’ve told Kenny, i’ve come to discover that V Day’s not all about presents, flowers or chocolates. It’s the warm , fuzzy and extremely sickly sweet feeling you get inside.

When he didn’t even send you an SMS wishing you Happy Valentine’s Day..its bad enuff. What’s worse is that he worked til 9 sumthing at night, then call you to tell that’s he’s going home, eat, bathe and sleep.. without even mentioning ANYTHING about Valentine’s Day.. let alone any presents for you. He hung up, saying he got a call to make.

So. Fine. I’m not gonna make a big fuss about it. It’s just another commercialized celebration. Being the understanding girlfriend that i am, i sms-ed him : Drive safe. Text me when you’re back home. ;o)

Half an hour later, i received a call..

“I’ve reached”.

“Okay”.

“I’ve reached your house, silly”. (with a smirk in his voice)

“What? Don’t lie”.

“Am not. Go change and follow me go buy food. I’m starving like mad”.

“Okay”..(trying my freaking best not to let him know that i was grinning like a Cheshire Cat)

So, now you see where that warm , fuzzy and extremely sickly sweet feeling you get inside come from? So what if there were no flowers, no present and no card? What matters is it came from deep within.. call him cheap, but i think it’s real darn sweet. At least he didn’t waste a bomb on anything. He can save the money for my birthday. Hah!

P/S: Not sure when i’ll be able to post again.. but i’ll try my best. Take care all… ^_^

~SpIffY~