I can’t believe what i did today. I’m already kicking myself up in the ass. I rejected an interview with a MNC company. A darn big and famous MNC company. How stupid can i get? Argghhh!!!!
I’m so gonna call them up on Friday and see if they can slot me in for an interview. Arggghhh!! It’s all because i was rushing for a meeting just now, which lasted me like 3 hours. Argghh!!!!
Stupid, stupid, stupid..!!
ARGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
~SpIffY~
You could never understand why i blog and why i write the things i do in my blog. I guess you never like me blogging, telling the whole world what i am up to, what my feelings are, et cetera.. but it’s me, it’s who i am. i’ve been blogging for years.. and before blogs was created, i was writing in my diary. Yes, i know there’s a big difference there… but to me, i blog the things that i don’t think are too personal, that i don’t mind other people knowing.
My blog is where i vent, where i let go, where i pour my heart out when no one’s willing to listen. It’s my only means of comfort at times. Others can criticise, can swear and call me names.. i’ll still continue to blog. In a way, it helps me to improve my writing and also keeps my mind busy and going.
I hope one day you will understand why i blog and not scold me for blogging.
Much love,
~SpIffY~
I wished you would listen, i wished you would understand… but i guess it’s just that. Wishes. Something that won’t come true.
I wished i could go back time and fix things, i wished i could walk a different road… but again it’s just that. Wishes.
I wished we would walk a longer road together..oh, how i’d wished that i have loved you more…
I wished i’d treated you better, i wished i’d understand you better..
I wished i’d been more tolerant, more patient…
But i can’t turn back time..
I can wish and wish but you’re not around anymore.
~SpIffY~
I cried talking to my mum today. Not because i miss her terribly… just that i wished i could tell her everything. But i can’t. I don’t think she knew i was crying..i was trying hard not to let her hear my sobs. Being away from home, hearing a voice you’ve known your entire life really does help.
Sometimes i just wished i can tell her how *sucky* my love life is right now, how many days i’ve cried myself to sleep, how i can’t eat, can’t do anything. I can tell her that, i know. But i chose not to. Whatever i’m going through now, is entirely my own decision. No one else. I’ll have to deal with it myself.
But how i wished……
~SpIffY~
It’s your birthday today. I’m sorry i’m not able to celebrate it with you. Stayed up late yesterday to wish you “Happy Birthday” only to be cut off by a very bad line. So i texted you instead. I wish i could be by your side to wish you, at least to give you a hug if not a present… but the only thing possible is to see you in my dreams.
You left today. Was there even a “goodbye”? I can’t remember…
I do know you’ll come back soon. Real soon. I’ll have your present waiting. Maybe a slice of durian cake we could share? ^_^
Happy Birthday, Elmo! *Hugs*
~SpIffY~
Falling in love is the most wonderful thing a person can have but breakups are the total opposite, unless it is a mutual breakup…but then again, how many people out there have breakups that are mutual? It is always one party that decides to call it off.. due to whatever reasons given. “My feelings have changed”, “I feel trapped”, “I’ve found someone else”, “I can’t stand your controlling attitude”, and the list goes on…
I’ve had my fair share of breakups. Who doesn’t? Okaayy… so I have friends who are very lucky enough to have not gone through it. =P but they are the minority… so I’m gonna leave them out.
I remember my first ever breakup..or ermm…should I put it, the first time I got dumped. I had cried and cried for ages… I had been sad for the longest time ever. I stopped going to the movies because it only reminds me of us going to the movies together. Everywhere I go, it reminds me of him. It took me three years to forget him. Three long years… I can’t really remember how I got through it…but I think most of it had to go to my friends, which I’m forever grateful for. I’ve chosen not to keep in touch with him due to personal reasons… but I do acknowledge him if he ever text me or message me in msn. I’m not so mean.. =P
My second breakup wasn’t so bad.. but it hurts nonetheless. I guess I shouldn’t have started going out with the guy in the first place, knowing what kind of guy he is when it comes to falling in and out of love.. but again, who was I to argue with the feelings in my heart? Oh, I’m someone who follows my heart instead of my brain when it comes to matters of love.. in case anyone doesn’t know yet. =) I’m just sorry over what happened after we broke up. We totally lost contact with each other. Even when we do see each other, it’s as though we’re strangers. Well, maybe it’s better for the two of us this way. No strings attached at all.
Everyone wishes to fall in love, with the right girl, right guy… but we can’t deny that breakups do happen. It’s the worst feeling ever. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, everything seems so wrong. You don’t want to talk, you don’t want to smile. You wish you could just crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of your life.
But honestly, does all the hurting ever stop anyone from falling in love again and again? It definitely does not for me because as I said earlier, falling in love is the most wonderful feeling ever. =D
Being in a relationship and making one last is well, another story for another time in another post. ;o)
~SpIffY~
What is love? It’s so hard to define love. Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world.. and yet the most hurting. Why do we hurt but still linger on? What happen to the courage of letting go and walking away? So many questions and yet…. where are the answers?
~SpIffY~
